" Living in your head isn't the best place to be, living in the present is"
Meet me, a former overthinker. I had been overthinking ever since I knew about thoughts, pretty much since I was a kid. I picked it up from my family first, and took it in my hands to make it worse. I did not know people could go about life without thinking about every little thing every day. Thanks to my rock bottom-like circumstances, I finally had enough courage to take control of my mind. I found some information on the internet but I found most answers within.
I used the following techniques to overcome my overthinking:
Cutting off at the roots:
Most of the thoughts in my mind weren't mine. News, dark tv shows, social media, gossiping, judging, triggered my overthinking. I replaced news with books/ writing, dark tv shows with sitcoms, hateful social media content with informative posts and videos, gossiping & judging with compassion. What you think is what you will be. Analyze the roots of your thoughts and work on reducing your exposure to them.
Writing it out:
Journaling is one habit that changed my life, trust my word on this. I could regulate and assess my thoughts, emotions and it transformed my mental health completely. Writing helps in decluttering the mind, if you are putting everything on paper, nothing stays in your mind. I wrote in my journal for eight months and I am at a point where I can mentally rewire my thoughts. I use journal only for bad days.
Communication:
I realized a lot of thoughts were affected by close people in my life. I assumed the other person's side without asking. As someone with poor confrontational and communication skills, it was tough at first but it did make me feel better when I was honest about what bothered me, instead of creating scenarios in my mind. Overthinking also leads to resentment, so talk to the person whose thoughts are going round in circles. If it isn't well received, then it is a red flag.
Letting go of the past and future:
Unprocessed emotions from the past haunt us till we heal them. Even the events from my childhood, past relationships, friendships, school, college, family, kept haunting me till I sat down with myself, felt them and let them go. Bypassing the emotions, escaping, denying is the not the solution, accepting that you felt these emotions, even the worst ones, is the key to feeling and healing. Forgive yourself and others, you'll find peace.
Similarly, let go of future expectations. Yes, you want a house, a job, a lover, money, a trip around the world, but while you are waiting and worrying, you are losing today. Today is yesterday's tomorrow that you worked for. Why aren't you living it? Manifest your future, but live in the present. Go out in nature, cook your favorite food, talk to your favorite people, watch a funny video. Invest in yourself today, for today's inaction is tomorrow's regret.
Practicing breathwork:
Anxiety is the consequence of overthinking. When we are in our head, we feel anxious, our breath is affected, so is our nervous system. Conscious breathing even for five minutes calms your mind and body. Breathe in for four counts, stay there for four and breathe out. Do it till you feel better. Yoga and meditation has helped me a lot in managing my thoughts, anxiety and stress, as it involves breathwork and helps in bringing the mind to present moment.
Solution-based and action-based thinking:
When there is a problem, you can either keep thinking about the problem or the solution. If I need to lose weight, I can't keep thinking about losing weight, I need to think about creating a workout plan or monitoring my food habits. If I keep thinking about the problem, not the solution, I won't be able act on it and solve it. I broke the cycle of overthinking by shifting my focus on the solutions.
Following a daily plan:
There are few things in life that are repetitive, cooking, cleaning, working, laundry, exercising. I had never done this before, but I created a schedule for each day. I planned for the food that I am going to cook (3 times a day), I allotted time for work, cleaning. It helped me save a lot of time and energy that went in deciding what to cook, plus I could buy groceries beforehand, thereby avoiding any last moment rounds to the store. Without planning, I'd keep thinking about what to cook, what to buy, when to cook which wasn't the best use of my mind and time. Lastly, take breaks often, engage in relaxing activities.
This might seem overwhelming at first, but it is very much doable. Show yourself some love and compassions you work through these changes. We cannot control half the things in life, but we can control how we think every day.
If you have any questions, experiences, feedback to share, DM me on Instagram or shoot a comment and let me know if you like this blog. Love and light to you!